Love is Painless, Suicide is Not
by grellthesexyredshinigami
Summary: Ciel finds Alois' suicide note to him before he was suppose to. One Shot. Warning: Mentions of Suicide


Ciel walked into Alois' room while he got them water. 'He's been acting really strange lately. Less lively. More depressed. I don't like it. I miss the old Alois. The enthusiastic, bootshort waering, goofy, giggly, blonde boy that I fell in love with.' he thought to himself.

Wandering around his room, he noticed a piece of folded up paper with the letters 'iel' sticking out. He picked it up, his curiosity growing. On the front, it said, "To: Ciel"

Unfolding it, he started reading.

_**Dear Ciel,**_

_** By the time you read this, I will no longer be in the world of the living. I am sorry. I hope that you will not forget about me, but I don't want you to dwell on it too much. I want you to move on and find happiness. As to why I am writing this letter, there are so many things that I never got to tell you. I just couldn't bring myself to say them, so I will say them now. I hope that this doesn't change the way you see me, even if I am gone.**_

Ciel's eyes were wide, mouth agape. His legs buckled underneath him, making him fall to his knees.

_** First of all, I want you know that I am terribly happy that we met. If you hadn't moved here, then I would still be that lonely, wierd kid sitting in theback of the class writing. For that, I thank you.**_

_** Second of all, I want you to know that you were wonderful. You were the greatest friend I have ever had. All the times we have laughed together, the times we smiled, even when we cried are things I will never forget. I believe that even in the afterlife, you dream. I will be dreaming of those moments. For that, I thank you. **_

__The paper was now becoming tear stained, by both Alois' tears from when he wrote the letter, and Ciel's now.

_** And last, but not least, I want to tell you that I love you. I didn't believe in love at first sight, but you made me a believer. I know that my love for you was fruitless and unrequitted. I know that nothing would come of it. I know that you would never love me back. I mean, who could love someone like me? I want to tell you now to make up for all the times that I had the chance to, but was too coward to. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. Thank you for everything you have done for me. Thank you for being my friend. Thank you for being there when I needed a shoulder to cry on. Thank you for being there to laugh with me. Thank you for putting up with me. Thank you, Ciel Phantomhive, for being Ciel Phantomhive. I can't live knowing that I will never be loved back. You will find happiness. I know you will. **_

_** Love, **_

_** Alois Trancy**_

Ciel rereads this over and over, until his brain hurt. Alois walks in the room carrying two glasses of water, to see Ciel on his knees, eyes teary and wide, and reading over a piece of paper adressed to him. Alois dropped the glasses, causing them to shatter all over the floor, thus making Ciel jump. He looked up to see a terrified Alois. He slowly stood up on shaky legs and walked over to him. Raising his hand, he struck the blonde on the cheek with full force. Then, however, he did something that the more suicidal of the two was not expecting. He wraped his arms around him in a strong embrace, as though if he let go for even a milisecond, he would leave. "Stupid. Stupid. Stupid." He started mumbling and gradually getting louder. "Stupid. Stupid! Stupid! STUPID!" He eventually screamed into Alois' shoulder. "You say you know I don't love you! How? How do you know?! What makes you think that I don't feel the same way?! DAMNIT, ALOIS!"

"C- Ciel- I-" Alois was shocked to say the least. He never in a million years thought that this would happen. Tears started to well into his eyes and pour down his cheeks.

"Why would you go as far as to commit suicide?! I love you, damnit. I love you! I love you! I love you!" he sobbed into the blonde boy's shoulder.

"I- I'm sorry. I am so sorry. I can't express how sorry I am-"

The smaller of the to had calmed down enough to breath properly, but was still crying. He backed up a bit, and looked into bright blue eyes. Putting his hands on his shoulders, he leaned up and brushed his lips against Alois'. "Don't ever- EVER- even think about that again. EVER!"

"I promise." The words that they could speak didn't even come close to the emotions they were feeling.


End file.
